


Maureen Didn’t Used To Be Like This

by callmechristinae



Series: Livejournal Migration [3]
Category: Rent - Larson
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-31
Updated: 2006-01-31
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmechristinae/pseuds/callmechristinae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maureen’s changed a lot the past few years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maureen Didn’t Used To Be Like This

Maureen didn’t used to be like this.

Back in high school, Maureen was the quiet girl with braces and frizzy hair. She wore baggy jeans and hand me down sweatshirts. She knew the answers to every question, but never raised her hand. She had a few friends, the ones too nerdy even for the honors kids. She never got invited to parties. She never got in trouble with the law, or even her parents. She always did her homework, and she always got A’s. She went to church on Sundays, and then ran errands with her family. She never snuck boys in through her window, but, then again, none ever wanted to come.

And she never, ever, rebelled.

Then, one day in her senior year, she was paired for a chemistry project with Nanette Himmelfarb.

Nanette was everything Maureen was not. She was outgoing, always talking to someone. She had cute new outfits, a perfect smile, and beautiful flowing hair. She had lots of friends and got invited to all the parties. She was the daughter of a Rabbi. She didn’t care about school as long as she passed. She had a cute boyfriend.

After they had finished the project, which didn’t take long, Maureen was shocked when Nanette asked her to join her at the Jewish Community Center. They were going to learn how to tango that day, and Maureen could meet Nanette’s boyfriend.

The second she saw him, Maureen felt a little pitter patter in her chest. It wasn’t by any means a new feeling for her, but it was strange when the boy met her gaze. He had beautiful blue eyes and soft blonde hair, and he and Nanette looked perfect as they tangoed around the room, not once missing a beat. Maureen just sat on her chair in the corner; no one had asked to be her partner. The class passed by slowly for her, watching all the happy couples move about the room to the music. Nanette left once class ended, not sparing Maureen a second glance, seemingly forgetting the depressed girl in the corner. Maureen continued to sit, waiting for the class to file out of the room before making her exit. She glanced up when a pair of sneakers entered her vision.

“Hi. I’m Mark,” the boy said with a gentle smile and an outstretched hand, “Do you want to dance?”

Maureen stared at the proffered hand for a moment before taking it gently and allowing herself to be drawn up. She agreed and allowed him to teach her the moves. She would have thought that watching the entire class would have taught her at least a few of the moves, but she was wrong. They had to stop constantly as Maureen trampled Mark’s feet and made the wrong turns.

“That’s ok. We can do it your way. It’ll be the Tango Maureen.”

Maureen just blushed.

Graduation came too quickly for Maureen, as school became more bearable with Mark as a friend. He always invited her to the parties he and Nanette were going to, and would talk to her in the corner as Nanette ran off to dance with other boys. Maureen knew that if she was with Mark she would never cheat on him. He was the only one who understood her. They constantly talked on the phone, late at night discussing everything from school to music to Mickey Mouse. 

He pulled Maureen slowly out of her shell, but she became a completely different person. She talked more than ever, approaching people on her own. He straightened and conditioned her hair, and her braces soon came off. She paid more attention to her clothes, wearing cute jackets instead of her mother’s sweatshirts. Her grades began to drop, and she began to fight with her parents more. She went on dates every week, never spent any time with her family. She switched social circles more quickly than the tides changed.

Mark called her his little human tornado.

College passed by in blur for Maureen, memories consisting of wild parties and blurry faces. She dropped out a year before graduation; not that she would have been able to. She cut off all ties with her family, pointedly ignoring her parent’s calls. She made her way to New York City, enjoying the life of a single social butterfly.

She was walking down the street one day, her short skirt flouncing in the wind. She saw the back of a familiar looking blonde head ahead of her and paused, almost gasping when the man turned around.

Mark was so much different than she remembered. He seemed worn down by life, his eyes seemed more mature. He wore thick black glasses now, and he had seemingly taken to carrying a camera around with him everywhere. A wild night for him now involved filming that roommate of his performing with his band, not wild unsupervised parties on the outskirts of Scarsdale. When he smiled at her, she foolishly thought she could bring back the old Mark, the one without responsibility.

Everything had started out perfectly, spending quiet nights together during the week and spending the weekends drifting from club to club. Just like she had always thought, they were perfect for each other. He made her feel loved and perfect. She was his little human tornado, and he was her pookie. He never seemed to remember that that was Nanette’s name for him. Then, everything began to change.

Maureen arrived at Mark’s loft one day to hear shouting and crying come from the bathroom. She approached quietly, hearing Mark pleading with someone. She cautiously opened the door and almost lost it. A beautiful girl lay in the bathtub, blood streaming from her wrists. Maureen recognized her; she was Mark’s roommate’s girlfriend. May, March, April? April. Mark was desperately pulling at Roger, trying to get him out of the room.

“God Maureen! Don’t just stand there, help me!” Mark begged, tears streaming down his face as he fought with Roger. Together, they were able to get Roger into his room and locked him in. After the body was taken away, they spent the night quietly in each other’s arms.

After that, Maureen had thought that everything would go back to normal. But, Mark didn’t go out on weekends anymore. His time was filled with taking care of his junkie roommate while he went through withdrawal. Mark told her to go ahead and have fun without him, and she did. She continued to bounce from club to club, finding herself in the arms of someone else each night. She saw Mark less and less, and she could see the pained look in his eyes each time she came in the door, smelling of smoke and alcohol and sex.

He loved her so much than she ever thought he would, she realized. She treated him like dirt, testing him, confident that he would always be there waiting for her with open arms. Sometimes she would think that she wasn’t worthy of him, but she quickly pushed those thoughts aside when he told her he couldn’t go out because Roger needed him. When she was lying in his arms, and not those of a stranger, she constantly felt the need to get away. She didn’t like how weak she made him feel. She was frightened as she began to love him more and more.

Then she met Joanne. They had run into each other on the street one day and had ended up sharing a cup of coffee. Joanne was kind and gentle, so much like a female Mark. But Maureen just saw her as an escape hatch.

Maureen returned that night, Joanne’s number and address in her pocket. Mark came out of Roger’s room, looking more tired than she had ever seen him. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek, asking him to sit with her. He nodded quietly, taking her in his arms. She began talking softly, explaining how none of this was his fault, she had just discovered who she truly was. The lies rolled off her tongue easily, telling him how they just weren’t meant to be. Maureen ignored her heart screaming out at her to stop, ignored the image of Mark patiently teaching her to tango that passed through her mind. She just continued to speak, explaining how she needed to leave, how this situation wasn’t any good for the both of them. She ignored her mind whispering to her how she was just doing this because the many nameless faces of the clubs were entranced with her and didn’t tie her down, made her feel powerful. Mark made her feel weak in ways she didn’t like.

Maureen was tempted to wipe away the tears running down Mark’s face and hold him in her arms and promise him that everything would be ok.

But she just stood up and walked out the door, telling him he should still come to the protest.

Maureen didn’t used to be like this.


End file.
